The sustainer of the
universe gently opened his lotus eyes. His gaze fell upon Narada. The
discus-bearer’s lips broke into a smile.
“Oh he who rests on a snake
bed and on whom the functioning of the entire universe rests, I offer thee my
humble salutations.” Narada paused to bow. ”After all, what else does this bard
have to offer that is not already yours!”
The husband of the goddess
of wealth nodded. Narada proceeded to praise the goddess of wealth, who sat
beside the sustainer, and received her blessings too in return.
“What is it my dear Narada?”
asked the lord, who knew it all, “What brings you here?”
“Oh eater of butter, my
deepest sympathies for what happened to Kalki. The Devas are distraught, to say
the least.”
“These humans and their
abortion techniques! Hmph!” spoke Lakshmi in disgust, “How can they be so
arrogant? Killing a life in the womb! Even Kamsa smashed his sister’s babies
only after they were born!”
“Not just any life,
Lakshmiji. They have aborted an avatar!” added Narada, “Can Kali Yuga get
worse? What happens now my lord? It’s already past December 2012. When will we
get the honour of seeing you in an avatar again? That too for one last time?”
He who once held the world
in his horns, merely smiled.
“Of course, the lord works
in mysterious ways”, Narada nodded to himself, “You’ll know the best!”
“Coming to the point of my
visit, oh lord. Guru Brihaspati feels that heaven must constantly be updated
with latest technologies in order to compete with the Asuras. We’ve gotten one
Deva to do the configuration and we now have social networking for the heavens.
No more rushing to Vaikunt. The Devas can merely login and post their problems
on your wall.”
“Oh I’ve always liked these
stuff!” chuckled Lakshmi, like a little girl.
“Yeah so that’s the status”,
continued Narada, “But, we are not sure which accounts each of you should take
up. So, my lord, Facebook, Twitter or Google Plus? Which will it be? Or shall
we have all three for the Trimurthis?”
Vishnu paused for a moment
as recollections of a similar dilemma flooded his mind. Among all of Brahma’s
creations, Narada was his favourite. (Lakshmi could be discounted since she
popped out when the ocean was churned.) Narada was the perfect equilibrium
disturber and equilibrium had to be disturbed for it be restored again. The
life of the Trimurthis would be dull otherwise.
“Let’s ask Lakshmi what she
thinks”, suggested the lord. Scribes, who were watching this scene through
their divine visions, immediately began jotting down verses in praise of the
lord, who gave respect to female opinion.
"Facebook!" answered Lakshmi, without batting an eyelid.
"Then Facebook it is", echoed Vishnu.
Narada smiled. "Oh he who is present even in stone and on every blade of grass, may Facebook too share your..."
"Narada what did you just say?" The lord sat upright.
Narada looked at the lord, puzzled, "What do you mean my lord?"
"You praised me just now. What did you say?"
Slightly unsure if he had blurted something wrong, Narada repeated, "I said 'Oh he who is present even in stone and on every blade of grass'..."
Vishnu turned to look at Lakshmi for a moment. Grasping her husband's intentions from that one look, Lakshmi clapped her hands. A conch blew loudly from somewhere. The Lord closed his eyes.
"Facebook!" answered Lakshmi, without batting an eyelid.
"Then Facebook it is", echoed Vishnu.
Narada smiled. "Oh he who is present even in stone and on every blade of grass, may Facebook too share your..."
"Narada what did you just say?" The lord sat upright.
Narada looked at the lord, puzzled, "What do you mean my lord?"
"You praised me just now. What did you say?"
Slightly unsure if he had blurted something wrong, Narada repeated, "I said 'Oh he who is present even in stone and on every blade of grass'..."
Vishnu turned to look at Lakshmi for a moment. Grasping her husband's intentions from that one look, Lakshmi clapped her hands. A conch blew loudly from somewhere. The Lord closed his eyes.
“It’s time”, he said. Narada
watched with moist eyes and joined hands, as a ball of light emerged from the
Lord’s immeasurable chest. This ball of light moved slowly towards the doors as
more instruments joined the conch for a celestial ensemble. Jaya and Vijaya,
the Dwarapalakas, opened the Vaikunt doors and let the ball of light travel on
its way to Earth.
***
It had taken him fourteen
years of academic study and patience to stand atop Mount Meru and behold the
sight in front of him. And what a moment it was! For several centuries
henceforth, that moment would be compared to Archimedes’ Eureka or Armstrong’s
giant leap. He was Dr.Vyas and what he beheld was affectionately titled Vyasano
Veronicastrum. But, that was all he did. He gave the plant his name and retired
to a farmhouse in Switzerland.
There was nothing special
about the Veroni plant. When discovered, it only got a fleeting paragraph in an
online science journal and ten seconds on the “Naked Scientist” podcast. It was
quite fragrant and attracted a specific species of white butterflies. That was
pretty much what people knew about it, until Dr. Cleaver came up with his
revelation.
Dr. Cleaver was a scientist
with a strong desire to distinguish himself. He had chosen smell therapy as his
subject of study. He analyzed primarily the scents of different flowers and the
effects they had on the human body. During a casual conversation with a friend,
he heard about Veronicastrum. Rumours floated among the triabls living in the
surrounding villages of Mount Meru that smelling the Veroni flowers helped to
numb body pain. Dr. Cleaver was immediately interested and got a team to
collect some samples of the flowers and do some tests. A few research papers
and conferences later, it was apparent that this flower contained painkiller
properties.
While further research on
the Veroni was ongoing, a grim-looking writer scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed in a corner of
a pub in Los Angeles, stumbled upon an article by Dr. Cleaver. Thanks to his
mental alertness at that point in time and his thirst for admiration, that
single fraction of a second spawned a never-before-seen blockbuster film that
took the world by storm. It greatly added to the public image of Veronicastrum
as the scene in which the protagonist defeated a bunch of aliens by harnessing
the powers of the plant was voted the 4th most goosebumpy scene in the history
of Hollywood cinema.
Within months, more
astounding research results began to emerge. The media went berserk like
elephants in a banana grove. Veroni adds a biting taste to ice creams, Veroni
clears toxic wastes if grown underwater, Veroni this, Veroni that. “Veroni”
entered day-to-day conversations as a word representing multiple talents and
dynamism. (Though on urbandictionary.com, it referred to a guy who successfully
and simultaneously maintained relationships with multiple unmarried women.)
However, what this
ridiculous frenzy really did was to make hoards of people rush to Mount Meru. A
whole variety of folks including pharmaceuticals, dairy companies, film and
media crew, curious tourists and irritated environmentalists, who detested the
disturbance caused to nature. The poor availability of the plant encouraged
another bunch of scientists to start playing around with DNA and genes and
figure out ways of mass-production. Funds flew from parliaments and
websites and soon genetically enhanced Veronis began to be produced. That was
when the shocking news broke out.
Governments managed to hush
it up but Wikileaks did its job. Veroni can make nuclear weapons more lethal
was the crux of the research finding. The quiet little country where Mount Meru
was located suddenly became the centre of the world’s attention. (If not the
whole world, at least that part which had access to newspapers or the
Washington Post Social Reader.) Suddenly, neighbouring countries began to have
border conflicts, other not-so-neighbouring countries began announcing their
support, while other far-off countries began suspecting the presence of weapons
of mass destruction in the land of Mount Meru.
Religious outfits cried for
the destruction of the evil Veroni plant. Committees made recommendations for
their protection and lawful usage. Terrorists hatched plans for getting its
seeds while tribals continued to worship it.
The situation got quite out of hand
when two countries involved in the argument declared war on each other. Their
problem was not the Veroni plant, it was something that ran much deeper in
their blood, analyzed a BBC reporter. Within weeks, a lot more countries jumped
in and the much-dreaded World War III began. And through all this the land of
Mount Meru maintained a neutral stand and stood witness to a gory battle. Out
of the blue, someone decided to drop a few bombs on Meru, the root cause of all
problems. Others threatened to drop bombs if that happened and so on. So on
December 21st, 2013, it happened.
Bombs burst. People died. The
locals of Mount Meru had gathered on the mountain, afraid of all the noise. Nuclear
bombs had just been dropped few kilometers from the mountain. They could see
the cloud of smoke approaching them from all four directions. Suddenly, as the
smoke reached the foot of the mountain, where the Veroni plants grew it halted.
The locals watched with wide-open eyes. It was almost like the plants had formed an invisible protective wall and were sucking in the fumes and radiation. When the smoke and the noise subsided, the
Veroni plants stood still and the locals still breathed. They fell down on
their knees and kissed the ground at the foot of each Veroni plant.
****
“And so it was, my lad, that when
the whole world was flooded in smoke, and when all seemed to be lost, god came
to save us in the form of the Veroni plants”, spoke the old man, “These plants
took in all the smoke, all the heat, all our sins so that we may breathe and
live. That is why we must forever be grateful to the protector of our race,
these humble little Veroni plants.”
The old man’s grandson looked at
him with crinkled eyebrows. “How could the whole world be flooded in smoke?”
thought the young lad. How could god suddenly appear within the plants? Why did
he let the smoke come in the first place? Why did he let others die and chose
our race to live? Why do we need the Veroni plants now that we have erected the
giant walls around our city? And why…
A delicate hand wearing glass
bangles touched his shoulder lightly. The young lad turned around. His gaze fell upon her face and her radiant smile. All questions vanished from his mind.
****
Note: This is terribly inspired by a Crazy Mohan short story titled ‘Dasavadhavadhu Avadhaaram’ in a Tamil magazine. It was a funny story on how a damsel from heaven comes down to Earth to reveal a divine secret to a human. The story proceeds to reveal the secret in a hilarious manner about how Vishnu finally takes his tenth avatar but his earthly parents abort him before he's born!
