January 27, 2011

A Taste of Culture


It was a festival for reviving the dying folklore and the rich traditions of South India. It was an opportunity for city dwellers to witness the diverse Indian culture at their doorstep. Some called it an excuse for the men in power to secretly throw away their black money while some others claimed that it encouraged people’s laziness. But, no matter what was said, the City Annual Cultural carnival never failed to draw a crowd.

Jostled amidst such a crowd was little Diya, who was trying her best not to drop her kulfi on the ground. She was excited as never before in her life. Living in a small, rented portion of an apartment, all that she would hear in a day was the screeching of her schoolteacher, the honking of auto rickshaw horns and the coughing of her old, house-owner. On odd occasions, she would hear her dad’s raised voice and savages screaming within cinema theatres.

For such a girl, the city carnival was something special. It was a night of marvel and splendour. The rhythmic drumbeats and the jingle of anklets, people dressed as tigers or saints walking down the streets posing for photographs, cotton candies and jigarthandas, spectators thronging the streets in their best, colourful outfits  – it was all new and it was all terrific fun.

“Who’s that god, mummy?” Diya asked.

“Who?”

“The one with many hands and her tongue sticking out...described Diya and pointed ahead. But, she got no answer as her mother got held up between the tummies of two gentlemen.

If ever there was something that Diya’s mother hated, it was finding her way through the forest of potbellies, while the unified stench of sweat clogged her nostrils. Wherever she went – the bus stop, the bookstore, her daughter’s school or the temple – the crowd was everywhere. She felt like the crowd was some kind of an evil monster, which would enclose her and try to choke her every time she stepped out of the house.

But, she never complained about it. She never said, “The government should do something about this and that.” She firmly believed that nothing short of a Kalki avatar could rid India of its crowds. And such a realisation gave her a sense of calm to deal with things.

“Hello Mrs.Prabhu! How do you do?”

It was a fake, English accent. Diya’s mother looked up and saw the smiling face of Mr.Satyam beside a fat, smiling face, which was Mrs.Satyam.

“Oh shit”, thought Diya’s father and gulped.

Running into Mrs.Satyam could mean nothing short of a disaster. The last time they had met, she had convinced Diya’s mother that buying a new house was absolutely necessary for Diya’s future. This had caused Diya’s father to lose some of his hair thinking of ways to make extra money. 

And Mrs.Satyam always did this in a neat, professional manner. Diya’s father admired her for this talent of influencing other people. He thought she did a better job of placing inceptions than Leonardo DiCaprio even.

So he stood there, listening to all the pleasantries being exchanged, waiting for the time when Mrs.Satyam would drive in the nail.

“My son’s changed his school. We want better English education for him, you see”, said Mrs.Satyam.

“Better education...” Diya’s father sighed and noted down in his mind the next topic of argument with his wife. He wondered how many households owed their lack of peace to this woman genius.

Suddenly, there was an influx of dancers resulting in a lot of pushing, which in turn caused Mr and Mrs Satyam to take off. Diya’s father looked sideways at his wife. The damage had been done.

Instantly, the spirit of Diya’s father dampened. He lost interest in the festivities. They seemed to create an ironical situation where there was much joy and celebration all around while within the poor man’s heart was a deep concern for the remaining hair on his head.

Diya’s mother looked at her watch and gasped. It was ten minutes past the beginning of “Komala”, a television serial. It was not the usual tear-jerker types but was instead more about women liberation and feminism. Hence, she never failed to watch every episode of it. But now, she was already ten minutes late. She pulled Diya away from a Halwa stall and spoke, “Diya! Let’s go back. I think we have seen everything there is to see.”

Children can detect lies and absurdities, it is said. They had just begun to look around and had hardly seen anything. Diya conveyed this concisely with a frown and beseeching look on her face. Diya’s mother relented but Komala filled her mind. Would she become the District Collector once again? Or would she reject the post since her cruel and powerful mother-in-law was the one who offered it?

Meanwhile, Diya’s father was performing complicated math in his head to estimate the finances he would need for a “better” school. The results left him with a feeling of utter dissatisfaction. He never seemed to have enough to meet the demands. And that is when little Diya asked in a sweet voice, “Mummy, can I go on that giant wheel?”

“No”, replied her mother, pushing Diya to move ahead.

“Why not? I want to go.”

“Have you never been on a giant wheel before? Walk quickly. There are many more things to see.”

“No. I want to go on the giant wheel NOW!”

Her mother gave her a glare. Diya turned to her father.

“Daddy... daddy. Can I go on the giant wheel?”

“Please daddy. Please”, she pleaded tugging at his coat.

“Diya! Will you keep quiet and walk?” spoke her father sternly, “Or else we just leave you here.”

Diya frowned. She folded up her hands and began to walk silently. The merry noises continued around them and the three people waded through the crowd. They spoke not a word with each other.

At home, dinner tasted unpleasant, the vessels in the kitchen tumbled, the television remote went flying and the bedroom door was shut with a bang.

The next morning, Diya was ready for school and her dad gave her a warm smile. But, Diya turned her face away. She got into the school van and requested Praveen for the window seat. Diya knew the van would pass through the streets where the carnival had taken place. She thought of having one final glimpse of the giant wheel.

But, there was no giant wheel in the street. There were no artists or performers either. All that remained of the carnival was the litter of paper and plastic, carelessly strewn all over the road and run over by speeding vehicles.

Diya turned away from the window and opened her textbook to read the poem ‘Our great India’, for her third revision test.

January 23, 2011

The Indefinite Movie


Two to the power of some huge number of years ago, when there was nothing, not even emptiness, there was a voice.

“Let there be light!” said the voice, “And let there be reel!”

And so the film started playing. It was a beautiful film but had no audience. And so, at least to get rid of the irony, the voice thundered again.

“Let there be Adam and let there be Eve!”

So, for the trivia-crazy people, the very first box office was filled by just two. Out of pity that such a beautiful movie has only two viewers, Adam and Eve decided to co-operate. However, the new viewers that they created, preferred to wail rather than allow their parents to watch the movie peacefully. So they looked up to heaven for a solution.

“Let there be popcorn!” thundered the voice.

Popcorn machines sprouted up and the babies had their mouths stuffed. Attention turned back to the movie once again.

But, meanwhile the voice had not kept quiet. It had said a lot of other “Let there be…” as a result of which there arose lot of disturbances, while watching the movie. Rain, for example.

“Come on, kids! Let’s build a theatre!” said Adam and they made a small theatre with wood and straw, so that they could watch the movie peacefully within.

Years rolled by quickly. Both Adam and Eve now lay on their death-beds. Holding the hands of her eldest son, Eve spoke, “Remember my dear boy, no matter what happens, the movie must always have an audience.”

“Yes mom! We’ll co-operate”, said her son with a wink.

Hearing this, she breathed her last, taking Adam’s breath away as well. Her sons and daughters looked at their dead faces for some time, then pushed them out of the theatre and continued watching the film.

As time hobbled by, the audience grew in number, owing to an excess of co-operation among the descendants of Eve. The descendents, however, started quarrelling over the popcorn machines. It began as one-to-one quarrels, which later led to the children forming groups. Each group claimed a popcorn machine as its own and did not want another group to come anywhere near it.

To cut a long story short, within years, the theatre had assumed colossal proportions. However, it had several internal divisions due to the nasty popcorn quarrels. But, at least some kind of a sense prevailed. Historically, the Sugar-Salt treaty was the precursor for change. The sugar popcorn division realised that they were dependant on the salted popcorn division (salted popcorn was essential for proper bone development) and vice versa (sugar popcorn was essential for blood cell regeneration) Therefore, they discouraged quarrels and entered into friendly relations, encouraging other popcorn-flavoured divisions to foster similar ties.

Each division now needed to be properly organized. There were people trained to protect the popcorn supplies, while there were others who worked on maintaining popcorn production. Since the population was growing out of bounds, the production of popcorn needed to be speeded up. So there was now a new group of people, who started thinking of ways to tinker with existing popcorn machines to produce more popcorn.

The people who fought for the protection of popcorn were highly honoured and awarded the best seats inside their division of the theatre and also had other people polish their shoes. And then there were people who taught how to polish shoes, people who learnt how to polish shoes, people whose ambition was to polish shoes and kiss them, people who revolted against the polishing of shoes, people who subdued and beat up the revolutionaries etc.

There were also people who started thinking about who made the film and how was the film made. How did the popcorn come to exist? Different theories cropped up. Some believed the popcorn machines dropped from the skies while there were some who theorized that salted popcorn evolved from sugar popcorn, which in turn evolved from something else. And different theories definitely meant different grounds to fight over. In fact, several thousands of lives were lost once due to a fight over who was the screenplay writer of the film.

Adam and Eve watched all of this from heaven but Eve looked worried.

“What’s up Eve? Why sad?” asked Adam, putting his arm across Eve’s shoulder.

“Ah our dear children!” lamented Eve, with her head in her hands, “No one’s watching the movie anymore!”

“Big deal!” spoke Adam derisively, “That movie’s not worth anything!”

“What do you mean?” thundered the voice. (It was the same voice that had said ‘Let there be light!’)

“It’s worthless”, spoke Adam, a little unsure where to look, because the voice seemed to come from everywhere, “I mean the movie keeps playing and people come and go, in and out of the theatre. Insignificant things divert their attention from the movie. Does that not show how worthless the film is?” asked Adam.

“Does it?” asked the voice angrily, “Or does it show the stupidity of your sons who cannot appreciate good cinema?”

“Ah, come on! My sons are not stupid. They’ve almost created a popcorn machine artificially now. Do you know that?”

The voice sniggered. “So? I need to suck their balls and make films that lick their feet?”

“Well”, replied Adam, “Just take a look at their response to your film first.”

The voice fell silent. Adam waited patiently for its reply. With its all-seeing vision, would the voice have observed everything, he thought? Would it notice the people who killed themselves when tired of the movie? Would it see the people killing others to snatch their seats, then fighting more to safeguard the taken-over seats? Would it watch the people whose aim is purely to eat sweet popcorn? What would the voice’s reaction be? Guilt and shame for producing and directing such a flop movie, which no one cared to see?

And that is when Adam heard it - a colossal shriek from the voice. It was quivering with anger. It shattered everything to pieces. Adam, Eve, their sons and daughters, the popcorn machines – everyone and everything were completely destroyed in an instant. Everything became nothing once again.

But the voice was still crying itself hoarse. It screamed so much that its vocals went out suddenly – with a big bang.